How To Deal With Difficult Situations

by Stephanie Blye

This article is meant to help you deal with difficult situations you encounter at your work place. There are three issues which an employee commonly gets into at work:

1. Is it me you're looking for? Can you really mix work and pleasure? Is your office romance such a good idea?

2. Mad, bad and dangerous - dealing with bullying at work

3. Communicating to negotiate - some coping techniques for difficult relationships.

1. Is it me you're looking for?

Talk tip: there are plenty of reasons to stay clear of an office romance, particularly if it compromises the quality of your work. And obvious matter to consider is what would happen if it all went wrong? That's it if you can overcome the negatives over the benefits. A lot of wonderful long lasting relationships begin at work. Let's face it...you get a much clear opinion about what the person is really like than you would if you met in a club.

Just remember the three "S"es: as long as you are both Single, Sensible and Sensitive and ....discrete, it really can work.

2. Mad, bad and dangerous

Have a look at this conversation:

• "Hey!"
• "Hey! Claire, you look shattered, are you ok?"
• "No, not really, I've had a reaaaally bad day. One of the Senior Managers, Helen, humiliated me like mad in a meeting. And when I tried to defend myself, she had a right go!"
• "What's her problem?"
• "I've got no idea!"
• "Is she like that with everyone?"
• "No, just me, it felt really personal. I'm afraid I lost it a bit with her"
• "Ah...not ideal! You know, if someone is having a go at you and you think they've gone a bit over the top, the best thing to do is to try and reflect rather than react."
• "What do you mean by that?"
• "Well, don't say anything right away, no matter how angry or frustrated you might feel. If you can keep control and not let THEM have all the power, that will help calm things down."
• "Alright, I'll keep my mouth shut next time..."
• "Have you got any idea why she's picking on you?"
• "No, but that's what it was like, she was...she was bullying me! I don't want to go to my boss about it, because they're mate and I'd rather sort it out myself than go to HR. I know she's got a bit of a reputation but she's never been like that with me before!"
• "Hmm...I think you should keep some notes. Hopefully, this is just one off, but if it's not, you are going to need some evidence. And also keep notes of who was in the meeting because you just might need some witnesses."
• "Good point! I'm going to go and see her tomorrow and I'm going to ask her, upfront where she gets all those things she..."
• "Woo, take it easy! This is exactly what I was taking about! You're reacting, not thinking about it. But by all means, go and see her tomorrow, but see if you can have a calm conversations about where you stand. Just stick with the facts. You obviously both got a bit emotional today so next time keep it rational. It's not like you have to come out as best friends, but this would help to keep a healthy relationship at work."
• "Oh, alright! I'll lose the attitude! Maybe that would help make her lose hers."
• "Yes, exactly!"

Talk tip: occasionally, people are difficult because they are reacting to what they see as our provocative actions. Be honest! Are you in any way to blame for the problem? Becoming aware of our contribution and taking ownership of it by apologizing and changing our behavior can be a powerful tool in changing the activities of the other side.

3. Communicate and negotiate

Talk tip: the hardest thing about resolving a dispute is getting those involved to talk to each other. Pride can play a big part with neither party wanting to admit any responsibility.

However, if you're prepared to hold down to an olive branch, you may be pleasantly surprised by the response. Nobody likes to work in a bad atmosphere and disagreements cause unhappiness for everyone involved. Keep the conversation frank, honest and respectful and make sure everybody has their say uninterrupted. . If this is impossible or if the conversation gets out of control, you may want to involve a mediator, such as the HR.

In this article I've shown you some ways of dealing with difficult situations at work. I've shown you that it is possible to make an office romance work, so long as you know the rules, I've also talked about the difficult situations of workplace bullying, and offered some potential solutions, and last but not least, I've shown you how communicating with people can get you out of difficult situations to handle.

I hope you've enjoyed these suggestions and if you'd like more pieces of advice, visit www.careeradvicecenter.com for daily updates.